I’ve had to refocus my wandering attention lately by asking myself those two questions. Almost anyone can relate to this difficulty caused by many, many distractions and demands on our time. Those of us with chronic illness can relate on a different level.
With so many tasks left unfinished, my mind moves at a dangerously fast pace. And I can’t keep up with it. In midstride I forget where I’m headed and what I wanted to accomplish. Faulty memory sometimes accompanies the aging process, but it bursts to the surface with a flare of my Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). And I’m not that old. Really, I’m not.
The wanderings of my imagination take me to thoughts I don’t yet need to think. The tyranny of the “what if”. What if I have a flare up of symptoms on a very demanding day at work? What if the next round of medical tests show that my RA is advancing? What if an additional medical problem is discovered? It turns out that my intuition must also be in high gear because many of the things I’ve been worrying about have recently appeared.
Wondering if I will have enough energy and focus to move through the next series of events. Enough wondering. Time for action. Recently, I tried some audio files that were titled as relaxation sounds and found them stressful. It’s snowing and very cold outside. The babbling brook and spring bird calls created a dissonance with my current environment.
In the past, yoga and meditation has been a successful way to bring back my focus and proactive attitude. Pardon me while I lay out my yoga mat.